Greetings!
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| Simple Tips for Managing Stress |
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 Everyone experiences stress at times, but too much
stress can be harmful to both your mental and
physical health. If stress is keeping you from enjoying
your life, you need to make changes to minimize it.
Here are some steps you can take to make your life
more manageable.
- Identify the sources of your stress and
recognize the symptoms (e.g. irritability, fatigue, etc.)
- Take a look at your lifestyle, and decide
what you can change to minimize your stress
levels.
- Try a relaxation technique, such as yoga,
meditation, or massage.
- Exercise daily if possible. Simply walking
the dog or working in the garden can help.
- Get plenty of rest and sleep to help
improve your mood and your ability to cope with
stressful events.
- Don't be afraid to talk about how you are
feeling with friends, family, a therapist, or support
group.
- Ask for help from those you work and live
with. Tell them what they can do to help minimize your
stress, or ask them for suggestions.
- Make time for yourself. Read a book,
watch a movie, or do something else you enjoy.
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| Getting The Most Out of Defeating Depression |
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 If you are using the online Defeating
Depression
program, or are ready to begin, you will get a jump
start on feeling better by following the steps
below.
Defeating Depression was designed to be a resource
to you no matter where you are in your efforts to
recover from depression. Because it is a
comprehensive program, we are providing some
guidance to help you get started. We
recommend you choose one of two ways to use the
program:,
1. Complete the "Quick Start Quiz" (click on the button
on the home page of the program) to help you identify
the parts of the program that can help you with your
most pressing problems.
2. You can also use the "Step by Step Guide" (click on
the button on the home page of the program), which
lays out a 12 week program for you to follow.
No matter which path you take, be sure to use these
parts of the depression program:
Change Your Thinking
Working on
negative thinking is a major element in cognitive
therapy, one of the most effective treatments for
depression. To learn more, go to the section, Changing Beliefs and Attitudes. We
recommend that you use the exercise, Using
Challenging Questions, as often as you can,
to help you challenge and change upsetting thoughts.
Also, be sure to go to Change Your
Beliefs, so you can address the basic beliefs
that can cause people to become depressed.
Become More Active
Research shows that
becoming more involved in activities helps depressed
people feel better. Use the step-by-step exercise, Create An Action Plan, to become more
engaged in life. If you don't feel ready to make an
action plan, use the exercises in Motivate
Yourself first, to build your motivation.
Manage Your Symptoms
Explore the
exercises in Moods And Emotions and
the Symptom Selector to help you cope
more effectively with painful feelings, and various
symptoms of depression. If you have been engaging
in self-defeating behaviors (such as excessive
drinking, eating, or gambling), use the exercises in Managing Self-defeating Behaviors to
help you get
things back under control.
Prevent Relapses
Once you have made
some
progress in recovering from depression, you can build
a comprehensive plan in Preventing
Relapses.
To learn more about Defeating
Depression, click on the link below:
Learn More About Defeating Depression
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| Dear Dr. B.: Breaking a Promise to Save Our Daughter |
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 Dear Dr. B.:
My daughter's college roommate recently called us
and said she is concerned about my daughter
because she thinks she may have an eating disorder,
as she has heard her throwing up in the bathroom
many times after eating and said my daughter worries
a lot about her weight. She also found two empty
laxative boxes in my daughter's wastebasket. When
she confronted her, my daughter denied having a
problem and was very angry with her for suggesting it.
Her friend said she is getting more worried, but made
us promise not to tell our daughter that she called us.
She was very adament about this and we gave her our
word, but now we don't know how to handle this. The
school is three hours away, and we only see our
daughter on school breaks. We want to honor our
promise and not cause problems between our
daughter and her friend - especially since they have to
room together - but we are also very concerned and
want to help her. Do you have any suggestions?
- J
Dear J;
If the roommate's observations are correct, I think you
have good reason to be concerned about your
daughter. Self-induced vomiting and abuse of
laxatives are considered to be "purging" behaviors,
which is characteristic of bulimia. These purging
behaviors are a threat to your daughter's health, since
they can lead to a number of very serious medical
consequences. It is vital for anyone with bulimia to be
in treatment, and to receive a full medical workup.
I think it's time for you to consider making the three-hour drive to your daughter's school to discuss this
matter in person. I know that you want to honor the
roommate's request not to identify her as the source
of your information, but that cannot dictate how you
approach the situation. The desire to avoid friction
between the roommates has to be balanced against
the seriousness of your daughter's symptoms and the
ongoing risk to her health. You can start the
conversation with your daughter, by stating your
general concerns, indicating that you have seen the
signs of an eating disorder and are fearful for her
health. If your daughter is ready to acknowledge the
problem, you may not need to say more. However, it
is more likely that she will initially respond to your
concerns by denying that she has a problem. If your
daughter continues to deny the problem, you will need
to confront her in a loving way with the information you
have. It will be to hard to challenge her denial
effectively without identifying the roommate as the
source of the information.
If I were in this situation, I would tell the roommate that
I will do everything I can to shield her, but given the
seriousness of the situation, I may not be able to keep
her part in this matter confidential. On some level,
your daughter may realize that she is out of control.
She may ultimately recognize that her roommate
cares deeply about her. While there may be tension in
the relationship in the short term, I have seen many
situations like this resolve in a positive way,
particularly if the person with the problem receives
help.
Dr. Richard Bedrosian is a clinical psychologist,
founder of MySelfHelp.com, Associate
in Psychiatry at the University of Massachusetts
Medical School, and author of "Treating Family of
Origin Problems: A Cognitive Approach".
Send your
questions for Dr. B. to
info@myselfhelp.com. You will remain anonymous if
your question is printed in an upcoming newsletter.
We regret that we cannot answer every question we
receive.
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| Participants Needed for Study on Shopping Behavior |
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A student at the Swinburne University in Melbourne,
Australia, is conducting research for a project
exploring the relationship between perception of self
and shopping behavior. If you are interested in
learning more, please click on the following link.
Learn More
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| Be
Sure to Receive Future Newsletters: Add Us to Your Address
Book |
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To be sure that your ISP recognizes MySelfHelp.com as a
trusted and reputable site, please add info@MySelfHelp.com
to your address book and trusted/approved sender list.
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Can You Protect Your Child from Developing an Eating Disorder?
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The peer pressure felt by our children to be thin can
be difficult to deal with. At such a vulnerable age, this
pressure can easily lead to an eating disorder. Eating
disorders are serious mental health conditions that
can have devastating physical effects. There are
steps you can take to counteract the pressure your
child may feel. Studies show that something as
simple as wanting to go on a diet can lead to lifelong
struggles with an eating disorder. A strong self-esteem goes a long way, and there are things we can
do as parents to help develop this.
Give your child the tools to develop a healthy body
image in the face of pressure:
- Make sure you are a healthy role model. Take
care of your body in healthy, responsible ways.
- Teach the importance of bodies that are fit and
strong. Don't focus on weight alone.
- Compliment your child's character, what kind of a
person he or she is and the joy your child brings to
your life.
- Talk to your child about the unrealistic images of
people he or she may see on TV or in magazines.
- Point out the beauty and uniqueness in people of
different shapes and sizes.
- Talk about making healthy eating choices, not
dieting.
- Don't ban any specific foods - again, promote
healthy choices.
- Try not to make food the reward. Focus instead on
the time you spend together and the fun activities you
do.
- Promote eating when you are hungry and
understanding your body's nutritional needs.
- Encourage exercise and activity in your child's
schedule - focus on activities he or she enjoys.
- Model healthy exercising and talk about how
strong it makes you feel.
Explain the importance
of food.
- Focus on the best fuel for your body to be
able to do and enjoy the things you want to!
- Talk about body changes that are normal during
the teen years.
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