Greetings!
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| The Medical Marriage: Make the Most of It |
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 (AKA The "Doctor-Patient Relationship")
by Vicki Rackner MD
After one of my recent talks, an audience member
said, "I want the best health care possible, but it
doesn't seem to be within my reach. I can't afford a
concierge doctor who charges a fee just for the
privilege of calling him my doctor. I live far away from
an academic medical center. I'm not a celebrity or a
wealthy man or someone with a doctor in the family.
Can a regular guy like me get high quality health
care?"
Yes, ordinary people can get extraordinary health care!
It begins with the basics-finding the right doctor
partner.
This partnership with your doctor is one of the most
intimate you will have in your life. Your doctor may
know things about you that you have not told anyone
else in the world. It's almost like a medical marriage.
While most people would not settle for arranged
marriages, they somehow settle for arranged medical
care.
Finding the Right Partner
The path to a sparkling doctor-patient relationship and
a sparkling marriage is the same. You need to start
with the right partner. There are lots of great people
out there, but you would not want to marry most of
them; you marry the person who is the best fit for you.
So, too, your ideal medical marriage reflects a good fit
between what you want and need and what the doctor
has to offer. Your best friend's doctor may not be the
right doctor for you.
Each doctor is different. Doctors have very different
styles, get very different outcomes and work best with
very different kinds of patients. Do some research,
and then do the ultimate test. Listen to your gut. Your
intuition will tell you whether you are working with the
right doctor.
Sometimes a good marriage tarnishes and will regain
its sparkle with a little effort. The same thing happens
in medical marriages. Some patients need to remind
their doctors about the importance of listening or
talking in English or not rushing out the door before
the questions are answered.
Sometimes good marriages end in divorce. There is
a time and a place to fire doctors, too. If you lose trust
in your doctor, or your doctor has taken away your
hope, it's time to find another.
Before you say "I do" to a medical marriage, make
sure that you have found the right doctor partner to
share this journey to optimal health. The relationship
between doctor and patient is the very foundation of
the health care system. It's where the magic of healing
happens.
Vicki Rackner, MD, is a surgeon who now focuses on
improving the health of the doctor-patient relationship
through her company, Medical
Bridges.
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| Help Your Child Measure Up! |
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 Help Your Child Develop a
Positive Body
Image!
Most of us know that a negative body image is a
common struggle for teenagers in our media-driven
culture. It is overwhelming to think about all the
negative influences teens are bombarded with on a
daily basis. The onset of summer and less clothing
can be a stressful time for teens who suffer from a
poor body image. Not only are they often dissatisfied
and overly critical of their own body, they are also faced
with unrealistic standards from peers and the world at
large where they feel they can never measure up. We
worry about the long-term effects of a poor body image
and wonder if there is anything we can do as parents
to help our children.
Fortunately, there are ways that parents can help their
children feel better about their bodies. One of the most
powerful tools we have as parents is
to mirror a healthy body image ourselves. If
we feel comfortable with our bodies, chances are our
children will also.
Try taking the following steps:
Forget about focusing on your weight. Concentrate instead on living a healthy lifestyle that
includes significant physical exercise and sound
nutritional choices.
Edit your comments when it comes to your
child or your own body concerns. Avoid negative
comments about eating habits,
weight, or body shape.
Explain to your child the normal weight gain that happens during puberty.
Compliment your child on personal talents or
qualities that have nothing to do with physical
appearance.
Take time to discuss the unrealistic images
teens are faced with on a daily basis.
Involve your child in food choices for the family
and explain the nutritional pros and cons.
Set an example by choosing healthy eating
choices and physical activity.
Use your power as a parent to influence your
child's body image in a positive way. Even though you
may not think they are paying attention, they are.
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| Dear Dr. B.: Is Tough Love the Answer for My Daughter? |
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 Dear Dr. B.:
My daughter Cassie, who is nineteen years old,
flunked out of college last semester and is now back
at home. She is not functioning well, to put it mildly.
She works at a convenience store, at the most maybe
20 hours a week. For her, the rest of the week seems
to be one big party. It's clear that there is plenty of
drinking and pot smoking going on, and maybe other
substances as well. I also think she's doing a lot
of "hooking up" with guys. I can see Cassie going
further and further downhill, and there doesn't seem to
be much I can do about it. I know she has a lot on her
mind. When Cassie was in middle school she was
molested by a teacher, and I don't think she has ever
recovered from it. She saw a psychologist back then,
and although it seemed to help, she refuses to go
back.
A few months back, I joined a support group for family
members of kids with substance abuse problems.
The group leader thinks that Cassie needs "tough
love". Right now she thinks I am just enabling her and
making the problem worse. The group leader wants
me to do what she did with her son - give her an
ultimatum: If she doesn't sober up and start treatment,
I will lock her out of the house and cut her off
financially. I don't think that's the right approach with
Cassie. I'm concerned about what might happen to
her out there on her own, but I feel a lot of pressure
from the group to do what the leader is suggesting.
- TJ
Dear TJ:
I'm sorry to hear about Cassie's difficulties. My heart
goes out to all of you during this difficult time. Many
survivors of sexual abuse can get caught up in the
kind of self-destructive lifestyle you describe.
There is no doubt in my mind that "tough love" is the
right approach for some adolescents and young
adults in her situation, especially if their behavior is
affecting the well-being of others in the family.
However, one size does not fit all. In the wrong
situation, "tough love" can be a risky strategy.
Moreover, young women who are abusing substances
face greater dangers out on the street than their male
counterparts. You may be right in thinking that putting
your daughter out of the house may increase the risk
of harm coming to her. You have to trust your
instincts - you know your daughter.
I think it is vital for the group leader and your fellow
group members to respect your decision to not use
the strategy she recommended. If that doesn't
happen, then it's time to find another support group,
one which shows more tolerance for individual
differences. You should also consider seeing a
therapist, either individually or with the rest of your
family, to help you express your concerns to Cassie
and cope with the stress of living with her problems.
I am sure that it is terribly painful to watch your
daughter behave this way, not knowing what it will take
to get her to change or what you can do to help.
However, she is still very young, and as difficult as the
situation is, there is no reason to give up hope. I have
seen many young people her age regain control over
their lives. Cassie is just reaching the age at which
people can make the most of treatment for the
aftereffects of sexual abuse. Once she gets sober,
she can make great progress. Keep doing all that you
can to let her know you love her and care about her,
and when she is ready, your support will make a huge
difference in her recovery.
Dr. Richard Bedrosian is a clinical psychologist,
founder of MySelfHelp.com, Associate
in Psychiatry at the University of Massachusetts
Medical School, and author of "Treating Family of
Origin Problems: A Cognitive Approach".
Send your
questions for Dr. B. to
info@myselfhelp.com. You will remain anonymous if
your question is printed in an upcoming newsletter.
We regret that we cannot answer every question we
receive.
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| The Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance (DBSA) Holds Annual Conference in Orlando |
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 DBSA will hold its national conference August 10 - 12
in Orlando, Florida. The theme of the conference
is "Making the Recovery Connection" and features the
following speakers:
Greg Louganis
Greg Louganis is more
than just an Olympic Champion - he stands out as an
exceptional human being who has led an
extraordinary life. He exhibited sheer grace and a
winning style as the world's greatest diver, but beyond
the professional accolades, Greg Louganis battled a
number of personal difficulties.
Kathy Cronkite
Kathy Cronkite is a
popular writer, journalist, and public speaker. As one
of the millions who suffer from clinical depression,
she has become a tireless champion for mental
health. As an advocate, Cronkite delivers a clear
message: "Depression must be accepted as the
medical condition it is in order to combat the stigma
attached to it and to make help available for those who
suffer from it."
For more information and to register, visit the
Conference website.
at www.DBSAlliance.org/Conference2007
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Four Minutes to Better Health: Celebrating National Men's Health Week
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HealthMedia®, the parent company of
MySelfHelp.com,
is participating in Men's Health Week, a national
initiative that takes place June 11 to 17 to heighten the
awareness of preventable health problems and
encourage early detection and treatment of disease
among men and boys.
A Video Worth Watching!
The Men's
Health Network is providing access
to a four-minute, entertaining HealthMedia video
titled "The Appointment" at www.menshealthweek.org - the National Men's
Health Week home page. "The Appointment", filmed
and written in Hollywood by Screenwriter and Producer
Monte Montgomery, uses humor to motivate patients
to take better care of themselves and create a
successful partnership with their physicians. The
video can also be viewed at:
www.healthmedia.com/theappointment.html. A
Spanish version is also available at:
www.healthmedia.com/lacita.html.
"While there is an alarming decline in men's health
status, you can't preach to them. They will shut down.
We want to help reverse the trend by providing
awareness and teaching men to play a greater role in
their own health care, but do it in an entertaining and
humorous way," said Ted Dacko, President and CEO
of HealthMedia. "The first step in improving your health
and staying healthy is through preventative care and
getting the most out of your relationship with your
doctor, which is why we produced this video."
Here are some important tips to remember in creating
a successful partnership with your doctor:
- Ask questions if you do not understand
something
your physician has said
- Bring a list of medications and vitamins
you are
taking
- Take notes during your appointment
- Bring a family member or friend along if
you need
help
- Alert your physician to changes in your life
and/or
health
To learn more about National Men's Health Week and
how you can participate, go to www.menshealthweek.org.
Men's Health Network is a non-profit educational
organization comprised of physicians, researchers,
public health workers, individuals and other health
professionals. MHN is committed to improving the
health and wellness of men through education
campaigns, partnerships with retailers and other
private entities, workplace health programs, data
collection, and work with health care providers to
provide better programs and funding for men's health
needs.
Are you ready for
THE APPOINTMENT?
Watch Video |
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